


Nicotine

by Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends



Series: Sanders Sides Songfics [2]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love, this ain't a happy fic folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 07:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends/pseuds/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends
Summary: An angsty prinxiety songifc...





	Nicotine

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to the song Nicotine by P!ATD... and now this happened... (this isn't remotely happy at all I'm so sorry)

Virgil was in his room, sprawled on his bed. His headphones were on, Nicotine by Panic! At The Disco playing at full volume. Tears sprung from his eyes as the song played, smudging his makeup horribly.

 

_ Cross my heart and hope to die _

_ Burn my lungs and curse my eyes _

_ I’ve lost control and I don’t want it back _

_ I’m going numb, I’ve been hijacked _

_ It’s a fucking drag _

 

The cause of his emotional distress? Roman. The two of them had broken off their relationship a few days ago, and Virgil was still pretty broken up about it. It probably didn’t help that he was listening to this particular song, either.

 

_ I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you _

_ So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do  _

_ You’re worse than nicotine _

 

It was for the better that their relationship was over. They were always arguing, and they were two forces that worked against each other. Creativity and Anxiety. Those two things didn’t help each other, they only worked against each other. But Virgil still fucking loved him. He missed the soft kisses late in the night, the comforting words that Roman used to say to him. But that was gone now. And Virgil wondered if Roman ever truly cared for him, or if it was all some cruel trick he did, just to play with his heart.

 

_ It’s better to burn than to fade away _

_ It’s better to leave than to be replaced _

_ I’m losing to you, baby I’m no match _

_ I’m going numb, I’ve been hijacked _

_ It’s a fucking drag _

 

Virgil heard distant laughter and conversation from the hallway, even with his music up at full volume. A mix of sadness and anger clenched around his heart when he recognized the two voices. Roman and Logan. Shortly after he and Roman had broken up, Logan and Roman had gotten together. And that’s what hurt the most. Logan was supposed to be his best friend, and what had he done? He had become Roman’s new boyfriend. It just goes to show that you can’t depend on anyone.

 

_ I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you _

_ So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do _

_ You’re worse than nicotine _

 

Virgil rolled over in his bed and wrapped his arms around himself, full on sobbing now. He put a hand to his mouth to try and muffle his pitiful crying. The last thing he needed right now was to for Roman or Logan to hear him. He didn’t want their false concern.

 

_ Just one more hit and then we’re through _

_ Cause you could never love me back _

_ Cut every tie I have to you _

_ Cause your love’s a fucking drag _

_ But I need it so bad _

_ You’re worse than nicotine _

 

Part of Virgil wanted Roman to hear him crying. He wanted him to see what he had done to Virgil. He wanted Roman to say he was sorry, to say he wanted Virgil back. But Virgil knew that would never happen. Because Roman would never want a mess like Virgil. Yet despite all of this, Virgil still wanted Roman back. He hated it. He hated Roman. He hated that he still loved Roman, after all the things he had done.

Virgil wrapped his arms tighter around himself as the song ended. His makeup was now smudged and tear-streaked, but Virgil couldn’t find the effort to care. He continued to silently cry, broken and alone.


End file.
